Young Friends Offered “Late-Life Renaissance” - Gay City News | Gay City News
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Young Friends Offered “Late-Life Renaissance”

Paul Havern with Dick Leitsch. | COURTESY OF PAUL HAVERN

BY ANDY HUMM | For the past several years, Dick Leitsch was befriended by a group of gay men in their 20s who socialized with him at his West 72nd Street home and at Julius’ in the West Village. They were with him as he died in hospice care at the Mary Manning Walsh Home on the East Side on June 22. They gave Leitsch “a late-life renaissance,” according to Tom Bernardin, the historian of Julius’.

Paul Havern, 28, assistant director of admissions at Cooper Union, was friends with Leitsch for three years and said, “For a lot of us, Dick was sort of a bridge into a world that was really lost to an entire generation. For many of us he really provided us insight not only into how far our community has come, but also to how similar we all were despite our differences.”

Havern added. “He really was very humble about all of his actions. He continued to work at St. Mary’s [the Midtown Episcopal Church to which he belonged] until he could not leave his apartment.”

When asked why he kept up his volunteer work, Havern recalled, “Dick said, ‘Well if I don’t do it, who will?’”

That seems to have been the spirit that drove Leitsch in his pre-Stonewall activism as well.

Gay men in their 20s offered Dick Leitsch support, camaraderie in recent years

Laurence Frommer, another friend of Leitsch’s, said, “Paul Haven, Ricardo Guadarrama, Matt Allison, and Alden Peters were all with him when he died.”

And they were all there for his funeral on June 28 at “Smokey Mary’s” — St. Mary the Virgin, an Episcopal church on West 46th Street, where most of the heads were gray.

Guadarrama, 27, Havern’s husband, said, “Dick always gave me hope,” even during his dying days. “It was inspiring for me, especially in this difficult time [in our country] to see someone who was positive and laughing” despite his illness.

“He was not afraid to be who he was,” Allison said after the service.

Allison, 29, an activist and senior campaigner at Purpose, a social impact agency, wrote, “During his life, Dick took many risks and made many sacrifices in the service of LGBTQ people to secure and advance our rights amidst incredible oppression. From an early age, Dick knew he was gay and never sought validation from straight people and society; he always knew deep down that being gay is perfectly natural and not something to hide, change, or ever be ashamed of. It was this deep, inner understanding that rooted Dick and guided his activism.”

Paul Havern, Matt Allison, Derek McCormack, Alden Peters, and Ricardo Guadarrama in the garden of St. Luke in the Fields where Dick Leitsch was interred. | ANDY HUMM

Peters, a 28-year-old filmmaker, wrote in an email, “His charm was disarming, even at the end of his life. When I spoke with him on the phone after his terminal cancer diagnosis, he spoke about his life and perspective on dying. He said he’s older than dirt, nothing is new anymore, he feels ready, and that if he knew so many people would be calling and giving him attention, he would have died sooner. ‘If I knew dying was this fun, I would have done it years ago!’ Then he gave his unmistakable laugh you could recognize from across a crowded bar.”

Leitsch was dispensing his wisdom to the last, according to Peters, who wrote, “I told him that was an inspiring perspective to have. I had been so nervous to call him but his positivity made me, and everyone around him, comfortable with his inevitable departure. He guided us through the end of his life with the same joy and care that he lived his life with. When I told him he was inspiring, he apologized. ‘I didn’t mean to be. I’m just talking.’

“In that same phone call, Dick told me the most important part of life is to keep friends close. Lovers come and go, but friends stick around through the years. ‘What’s the secret to keeping those friendships for so long?’ I asked. ‘Well, we all threatened to sleep with each other, but none of us ever did.’”

“Dick Leitsch is the kind of person you don’t meet anymore,” Peters wrote. “He’s humble and witty. He makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room when you speak to him. But it goes deeper than that. Speaking with him makes you feel like your relationship with Dick is unique. So many of us felt so close to him because all of us thought, ‘Dick and I have something special that others don’t have.’ That something special was Dick Leitsch himself.”

Allison wrote, “I feel blessed to have been with him and surrounded by other members of his chosen family when he passed. As we held him in the final moment of his passing, it felt as if he had passed his life and legacy on to us to remember, gain strength and knowledge from, and carry forward.”

5 Responses to Young Friends Offered “Late-Life Renaissance”

  1. Cheryl Williams July 6, 2018 at 9:26 am

    I absolutely love this piece and these phenomenal young men who were with my uncle as he passed from this life to the next. He loved them and talked of them often when we chatted on the phone. It warms my heart to know he was bathed in love when his time on this earth came to an end. I can’t thank Paul, Ricardo, Matt and Alden enough.

    Reply
  2. Luke Dupps July 6, 2018 at 9:33 am

    Thank you for such a wonderful tribute to my uncle!

    Reply
  3. Andrew Tobias July 7, 2018 at 10:29 am

    Great piece, Andy. Thank you.

    Reply
  4. heather miller July 10, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    Beautiful. We need more stories like these

    Reply
  5. Ed Andrews July 11, 2018 at 2:27 pm

    What a beautiful article; thank you for writing it! Much of my research is about intergenerational couples and I am proud to have many of these couples as clients and friends. They are not always welcomed by the main stream and so your article and the friendship these younger men shared with Dick is all the more poignant. May he rest in peace; may his friends be inspired by his life and may they be an inspiration to others. Thank you.

    Reply

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