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Second Coming Shocker! 
Marx, Not Jesus, Returns to Earth!

Second Coming Shocker! 
Marx, Not Jesus, Returns to Earth!

NEW YORK, NY — Millennial Christians and godless communists alike were stunned when 19th century economist and revolutionary Karl Marx suddenly returned from the dead about two hours ago to land, in bodily form, at the corner of Nassau and Wall Streets. His appearance interrupted Occupy Wall Street protesters as they negotiated the preparations for […]

Why I Couldn’t Watch This Year’s Oscars

BY SUSIE DAY | Damien Bona wrote about the movies. Loved them; loved all the vain absurdity that goes into making and appraising them; loved our need for dreams that keeps us watching them. Damien went to law school; had been, in fact, a real attorney and mature adult, but gave it up to do […]

Dead Iraqis Occupy Wall Street

BY SUSIE DAY  |  With the war in Iraq now officially over and the Occupy Wall Street movement less visible, life in New York was expected to return to normal. Instead, several recent passersby in Manhattan’s financial district have reported seeing thousands of deceased Iraqi civilians taking up residence at Zuccotti Park. The park served […]

Asking, Telling, Enlisting

BY SUSIE DAY | SNIDE LINES | The moment President Barack Obama signed the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, this reporter flew to the Persian Gulf to get the real story. I asked several gay and lesbian service people how they got there, and what they feel about their newly won rights. PRIVATE CLYDE, […]

The Adoration of the Mad Activist

BY SUSIE DAY  |  Snide Lines:Hello, is this the famous activist Tanya Klugworth? Well, is Tanya there? Me? Who am I? Oh, I’m nobody important; I just have important business with Tanya. Are you important? Ohmygod, you’re Tanya’s girlfriend! I guess I should say “partner,” right? You are so lucky! Say, what’s Tanya’s favorite color? […]

Downwind From Fukushima: A Mad Activist Dialogue

BY SUSIE DAY | Snide Lines: MAD ACTIVIST: Oh Innermost Being, I am so sad about Japan. I’m grief-stricken about the earthquake and tsunami that touched off that horrific nuclear power plant crisis. People ripped away from their homes and families, facing radiation poisoning, living in bodies that will soon cause them so much pain, […]

Queerer My God, to Thee: The Ex-Straight Ministries

BY SUSIE DAY | Snide Lines: | Believe it or not, heterosexuals, God loves you. And because of His love, God told us to launch a pricey advertising blitz, gently rebuking you on billboards and in newspapers across the country. Unfortunately, we could only afford to rebuke you in this crummy tabloid-type publication. But we […]

Nut-Bag Letter To Jon Stewart From The Mad Peace Activist

BY SUSIE DAY Dear Mr. Stewart, Remember your “Rally to Restore Sanity” in DC in October? I’m sorry, but my sanity remains unrestored. In fact, I’ve been feeling increasingly deranged. It’s like I’m speeding down Life’s superhighway at 666 miles per hour, headed for Nut City, where I am due to give my inaugural speech […]

The Revolution Will Not Be Workshopped

BY SUSIE DAY | Whoa! I just found out that the Left Forum – a conference attracting thousands of progressive activists and scholars – is happening this month in Manhattan. That means we pinkos and queers get one last chance to liberate society through thought-provoking workshops and panels. I sure hope the Forum’s organizers snap up my […]

Our Blob in the White House

BY  SUSIE DAY |In a move that may indicate some internal disarray within the GOP, Karl Rove, former deputy chief of staff to President George W. Bush, called a press conference today to announce a new candidate in the Republican Party’s lineup of presidential contenders. “McCain, Romney, they’re okay,” said Rove, renowned for his ingenious campaign […]